Pasta!
by Phantomhive Child
Summary: Germany after kidnapping Italy begins to go insane. To Italy its always pasta this and pasta that. Can Germany get through this madness or will his mind slowly rot away.


When Germany found Italy pretending to be a 'tomato box fairy' in the middle of the forest, Germany was scared, but on deciphering that Italy was harmless he decided to 'kidnap' him. But now Germany regrets that decision and has decided that his most hated word is Pasta. Let me explain the events leading to this.

It was a hot summers day, all was quiet in the world, well I say the world but I mean everywhere except Germany's house. Something was boiling and it wasn't hot water or a kettle, no, Germany's temper was boiling.

Whilst working to create sellable items to other countries Germany let out a groan, "oh, the lord in the heaven above, for just how much longer am I going to have to pay these reparations to France."

Japan who was visiting said, "Well, you could always stop paying them, I mean what have they ever done for you."

"No Japan," Germany bellowed, "I don't want France breathing down my neck any more than he has been."

"Fine then, I shall leave you to think of an option," Japan replied and with that he left.

Germany just stood there, mesmerised with thought, "what if I stopped paying reparations to France, I could use the money to build up my army, I could use the money to try and conquer the world," Germany hesitated, "but that didn't go so well last time, but hey-ho we all can learn from our mistakes."

Just then something startled Germany; it was Italy, "Germany, Germany. Can you cook me some pasta."

"No," Germany replied quite forcefully.

"Please," Italy begged.

"No means no and that's final," and with that Germany threw Italy out of his workshop. He pondered for a second. "That's it. I will stop paying the reparations and try to conquer the world, but I will need some allies. I know I will ask Japan." Germany ran to the phone and called Japan. "Hey Japan, I have decided that I will stop paying the reparations and will try to take over the world."

"Wait, your serious, not again," Japan sighed.

"No this will be difference, I will be twice as strong, and you will be on my side."

"Ok, what have I got to lose?" Japan replied, "Um, Germany, you might want more allies, what about Italy?"

"Italy," Germany shivered, "let me think about that and I will call you back." And with that Germany hung up the phone. Germany walked over to the workshop door and opened it. Italy was still laid on the floor in a huddle from where Germany had thrown him out earlier. Germany picked Italy up by the back of his shirt. "Italy what will it cost me to make you my ally."

Italy looked confused but replied, "Pasta"

"Ok," Germany replied and with that he made Italy some pasta.

Later that day Japan came back to visit Germany.

"Did you get a reply from Italy," Japan asked.

"He said yes," Germany replied.

"What was the catch," Japan questioned.

"Well, that I made him some pasta." Germany sounded confused. "Wait am I never going to live this down." Japan shook his head. Just then Italy came bursting into the room.

"Germany, make me some pasta."

"No," Germany replied adamantly.

"Pasta please."

"No"

"Pretty please," Italy seemed desperate.

"No."

"Pretty please with world domination on top."

"Italy, no."

"Germany, I will withdraw my allieness (if that is even a word.)"

"Fine, Italy I will make you some pasta." So Germany got up and made Italy some pasta. By now it had gotten late and no business could be conducted in this hour so they bid each other goodnight. The next day Japan and Germany were trying to plan the war when once again Italy demanded pasta. Germany began to grow even angrier with each time Italy asked for pasta. About an hour after refusing to make Italy pasta, Germany had finally had enough.

"Italy. Stop rambling on about pasta. I am trying to plan a war here and your constant sating of pasta is driving me to the brink of insanity." Germany face was red with anger.

"Italy," Japan spoke, "maybe it would be best to leave Germany alone at the present ok."

"Ok," Italy replied and with that he went on his way.

"Right Germany, back to planning the war," and with that Japan and Germany continued to plan what would become World War 2.

A few hours' later Germany and Japan had finished their battle plan.

"Right Japan, so I invade Poland."

"Yes Germany and I bomb Pearl Harbour," Japan replied, "Agreed."

"Agreed," Germany replied.

Just then Italy came into the room, "Germany, I'm sorry," Italy said. "To make it up to you I wrote you a song, it's called 123 Pasta." Germany put his head in his hands.

"Right then here it goes, (random tune) One silly Italian, two great friends, three different choices, pasta till the end. We all love pasta, yes we do, we all love pasta, especially you." at 'you' he pointed at Germany who stood up and threw Italy out of the house.

"You can stay outside until you stop saying or singing about pasta." Germany then went back inside. The rest of the day and the night went without a problem, maybe Germany wasn't going insane after all, but all was lost when Italy came into the kitchen.

"Germany make me some pasta now," Italy demanded.

"No," Germany at this point had decided that he hated the word pasta.

"Make me some pasta or I will kiss you." Italy blacked mailed Germany.

"The answers still going to be no, but tell me one thing Italy. Can you cook?" Germany was just curious.

"Yes Germany, Yes I can cook," Italy replied.

Just then a bright idea emerged from Germany. "Well if you can cook then why don't you make it yourself?"

"Because you idiot, I can't afford the ingredients." Italy seemed annoyed.

"Right if I supply you with the ingredients, will you cook pasta yourself?"

"Yes indeed Germany"

"Great," Germany hadn't gone insane, "right Japan. Shall we go and start a war."

"Ok," Japan replied.

"Hey you two don't forget me," Italy screeched.


End file.
